A peek into my life

3.29.2005

I dressed up for work today and most of them liked it, commenting abt how I look slightly different. I really agree with them, my old jeans and tee look was far too plain. I am SO gonna change that.

A couple of them also commented on how I seemed to have lost weight. That made my day.

PS: Could it be the slim mints?

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:28 AM

{xoxo}

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:25 AM

{xoxo}

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:25 AM

{xoxo}

3.28.2005

First day back at work was GREATTT.

Love dressing up for work, can really dress up, alot more than school cause in school, there's the worry about looking OVERdressed.

Got my email and direct line back, felt good to be back in action, back in the swing of the things. I'm eagerly anticipating the slew of events coming up during this period.

Bought a book from Borders after work, feeling quite bookish today. haha, will start reading it later. Alright, probably will not be updating as much now that I'm gonna get busy.

So, until then, take care all!

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 10:23 PM

{xoxo}

So, shopping with Morr this afternoon proved to be the most productive one all week along. A quick count revealed that I have spent $500 on clothes ALONE this few days. Let's see what I bought.

FCUK- 2 Long Sleeved Shirts
ZARA- 1 Super Nice Polo Tee that I've been eyeing for a while now
HMV - Entertainment Weekly and The Butterfly Effect, The Notebook & Shutter DVDs
NewUrbanMale- 1 Tee, Banana Boat tanning oil and lipbalm
RipCurl- 1 Trucker Cap
Topshop- 1 cardigan sorta top
Adidas- 1 Spanking new Jacket

Hmm I think that's all for this week. Had dinner at NYDC with Morr and I gave that bitchhead a treat, haha. In an attempt to shut her up.

Getting back to work tomorrow, can't wait to get back into action! I really enjoy working alot, beautiful people, intelligent people, interesting events, there's so much to learn, to do and earn!

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:02 AM

{xoxo}

3.25.2005

My 18th birthday was one of many smokes and drinks, to say the least.

After MMP Exam on Wed, I went out with Plastics, had lunch at Coffee Club and I gave the girls a treat to dessert, they gave me one of the most disturbing presents this year and as of now, I STILL HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT IF IT WAS REALLY A JOKE. Anyhow, was nice hanging out with them again after a short break. Thank you Plastics for the present and for shopping with me thereafter!

Met up with godparents and family for dinner that night at IndoChine Waterfront, whoo that place is really lovely. Excellent ambience coupled with nice food. Headed off to Zouk after that for a great night of partying with Hweech, Peng, April, PeiLing and Dy. Was surprised that they did not check my ID but by the time I stepped into Zouk, I was half-gone. Had alot of drinks before that at my bro's pub. Danced like crazy and bought a jug of vodka lime for them. Bought cigs too and got cheated, haha. Too wasted already la!

Oh did I mention I kissed April's guy friend?

Went shopping with Moo yesterday and she had no clue to what was gonna happen that evening at all! Brought her to the chalet where she was successfully SURPRISE-d by everyone! From her family to Plastics to Sec Sch frieends, was nice to see her so happy on her birthday! That angel really deserves it. Happy Birthday MOO!

Cabbed to Kel's place for the eagerly anticipated SABA Sleepover #2 where we had movie marathon of Love Actually and Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! Finished the 1.5 bottles of Vodka I brought and had some baileys. I was wasted away and really really drunk by 4am. They left me to sleep and at about 6am, I woke up and vomitted. A lot.

Felt damn bad for dirtying Kel's room and for them to clean up after me. Alot of funny stuff happened during the course of my drunk-hood but I shall not blog about them because I am lazy AND for Drew's esteem issues. Haha.

SABA, Thank you all so much for the sleepover! I had lots of fun and thank you for not making fun of me when I was drunk and for not complaining despite having to clean up the whole place (Morr, you are NOT included) Thanks once again, I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Kel mentioned how normal people get a bad hangover after being drunk and I was such a hardcore shopper that I could still shop today. Bought stuff from FCUK and HMV AND A SPF 30 SUNSCREEN LIPBALM. HAHAHAHA.

Oh, and Slim Mints that cost $7.

Below is an excerpt of my conversation with Mother Dearest the moment I got home.

Mom: Jonathan Seto, this is the 5th time your wardrobe has given way this year. And it's not even 2 mths old! You have far too many clothes.

*horrors of horrors*

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 11:12 PM

{xoxo}

3.22.2005

1 hour to go.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 11:00 PM

{xoxo}

3.21.2005

It's been a long while since the last post, not that my life has been stagnant, there's been quite a few exciting happenings, interesting encounters, funny thoughts which I would usually blog about but i'm real lazy to do so.

Besides, there is the MMP Exam on wed, yes on my birthday! How sad.

So, off I go, staring at my text, and worrying/dreaming about Wed.

And I leave you with this beautiful essay/discussion/text that Kel Shite sent me (thanks shite!)

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 10:11 PM

{xoxo}

3.18.2005

Haven't blogged in awhile, as you can tell, nothing blog worthy has happened. Just dug out my old Bardot CD this afternoon and it's been on repeat mode ever since, so nostalgic!

Ladies & Gentlemen, beginning from tomorrow, I'm gonna watch my diet and cut down on my carbs intake especially. Do some exercise and hopefully lose some weight.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 1:39 AM

{xoxo}

Not blogged in awhile, as you can tell, nothing's been blog worthy the past few days. Just dug out my Bardot CD this afternoon and it's been on repeat mode ever since.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:51 AM

{xoxo}

Not blogged in awhile, as you can tell, nothing's been blog worthy the past few days. Just dug out my Bardot CD this afternoon and it's been on repeat mode ever since.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:51 AM

{xoxo}

3.14.2005

Was playing this song Peng sent me, when I accidentally turned on this song from The OC OST. Suddenly, I got a shock and was stunned for a few seconds, staring at this screen. Then, the familiar tune started playing and all of a sudden, the memories came rushing back. The fond memories. Her hair. her smile. her clothes. her voice. her actions. her letters. her cards. her calls. her SMSes. I still remember all of that.

It must be because she reminds me of Marissa, that's why when I think of OC, I think of her, right???

Suddenly, everything is back. All the emotions, all the memories, that's what I miss! I miss having someone to complain to, someone to talk to, someone to SMS, someone to call, someone to shop with, someone to spend my Saturdays with. Someone that really cares. Someone that really matters.

Why is my vision blurred? Oh, right, it's the liquid that's forming in my eyes that's causing me to choke. Fuck, isn't that what they call tears?

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 11:23 PM

{xoxo}

I will not be idle this holidays after all, got a call from TEC this afternoon, they want me back so I guess I'll be going back.

Yay! Feels good to know that there's something to look forward to after all the hard work. In this case, that would be shopping.

Managed to let Peng feel better so that was one good deed done today. Am really envious/jealous of how her love life is going, it's amazing how she seems to meet all the right people.

Thought of the Day: Men should not be useless idlers at home, they should bring home the bacon and make everyone at home really happy.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 9:26 PM

{xoxo}

3.13.2005

The early hours of this morning was a whirlwind of emotions, frantic rollercoaster ride and flurry of missed calls and unreplied SMSes.

From about 2-5am, I was like a worried dad/brother/bestfriend, pacing up and down my room, with phone in hand, dialing and smsing like no tomorrow. No reply. No sign. Nothing whatsoever.

Called Moo up at about 3.30am to join in, once again, called like crazy and STILL worrying frantically. We both scared ourselves silly with the different scenarios we could think of.

Finally, at about 5am, we got through. The calmness and nonchalentness on the other end of the line was absolutely shocking and revolting.

To you,

I am no longer angry with you because the only reason why I was so worried in the first place was because I was concerned about your wellbeing. Since you turned out fine, I am no longer angry. I should be relieved. And thankful. Prayers do work huh.

Howevever, the images of you making out with him and going over to his place despite having told me you wouldn't just keeps playing in my head. It is disturbing and rather upsetting.

Most certainly, it is not within my control how you carry yourself but I just wished you had kept that little bit of dignity, perhaps?

You say there's something going on between the two of you, I'm honestly glad. Yet, some other mixed emotions which I will push to the back of my head and not talk about for now.

All in all, I truly shocked myself by being so worried and panicky yesterday, it was indeed a milestone in my "Caring for a Friend" journey. I hope that since things turned out the way you wished they had, you would be happy. From an outsider's point of view, it was probably no big deal, especially if he had been some stranger, it probably would have been much easier to take.

But, hey, I'm not Jonathan for nothing.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 8:59 PM

{xoxo}

3.12.2005

I believe my social life is non-existant.

Which is pretty sad, I'm supposed to be the party animal, the Mr Popular, the one who has lots of fun, the one with a million friends and a thousand things to do on his agenda!

All that seems to be rubbish when facing the fact that I singlehandedly arranged a date for Peng! Like, hello? How happening can I be when the only time I asked anyone out this week was to ask him out for Peng?

To add insult, I spent the last 30 mins or so helping Peng pick out the right stuff to wear, coupled with the right accessories and bag.

This is so tragic!!!

Disclaimer: Peng, do not feel guilty or bad. Go ahead and let your hair down! Have the time of your life tonight. Hope things work out.

PS: Moo, congrats on the new phone! Please do not get upset about the messages, let it burn.........

PPS: Crystal, read about SAC?! Hope the carnival was fun.

PPPS: I shopped today. Bought 2 new tops, one from FCUK and the other from NewUrbanMale.com Ok fine, maybe I have a life afterall.

My Saturday is so boring.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 7:49 PM

{xoxo}

Had a bad dream last night about a soccerball ramming into my face and causing me to lose my 4 front teeth, was really petrified and when I woke up, I realised that I had overslept. Jumped out of bed and rushed to school, was late but K Wong didn't look like he was upset.

In fact, he seemed really jovial today and gave tips, some people were really rude and on a few occasions, were pushing his limit and testing his patience. K Wong also said I was 'most not shy', never mind, it's the last day of Year 1! Can you believe it? This marks the end of Year 1 for us, wow. That was fast.

Hung around at TM with the rest before heading to Peace Centre to print their work, thank goodness we met Raodah who helped them hand up their work because her boyfriend drove and the deadline was looming near. Peng & I headed to Crystal's place for mahjong after that with Dyan.

Had a fantabulous time and during mahjong, Peng got really disturbed by how eager and determined I was to win, so much so that I was silent and waiting intently for that one winning tile and she asked "Why is winning that important to you?"

I was taken aback for a slight while before I realised what my actions meant, I think it really showed how much I need to win and how much I would do to win. Being the best is very important to me, Peng suggested that I might be the sort to betray friendships and kill people just to get what i want. Thought about it for awhile before telling her that I don't think I would do that because friendships are really important to me.

With that said though, I don't deny the importance of winning to me.

Peng also asked how much my dream salary would be like and I told her I would not be happy with my life & career until I made at least 350k annually. I know it's quite a large sum but again, that's me, I aim high, not gonna settle for second best. If others can do it, all the more I can do it.

Talked about life, parenthood and love today, was thinking if I would die for the one I love and my answer? NO, I wouldn't, there's so much more I intend to do with my life, so many dreams to fulfill, targets to achieve, I can't bear to die now. Maybe that's why God hasn't arranged for me to meet that special someone, then again, I guess in times of adversity, I probably might die for those that I love. When it comes down to the crunch, everything else changes.

Hmm the girls seem to be suggesting that I still like Shitface, I don't think so. I told them that the reason why I still have a soft spot for her and all is because apart from her shitty character, she really is closest to my dream girl. Apart from her, I don't see myself being with any other girl currently. None of the girls I know now are closer to my dream girl than she is.

Offered to accompany Peng to Sound Bar tomorrow to be her watcher but since she declined, I shan't insist, she obviously trusts him alot. Am really happy for her, especially after webcam-ing with Gav just now, she's sooo luckY!! Over Mahjong, i joked with her about how I can only achieve success and happiness when I kill her. She seemed a little scared but don't worry woman, I'm not gonna kill you yet (you still have some value, HAHA)

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:36 AM

{xoxo}

3.10.2005

Dragged myself down to Photography tutorial at 8am this morning, what an unearthly hour you say? I KNOW. And Kwee Hoon did not do much to appease me, she pissed me off by calling me SETO! Though most of my sec school friends call me that, I just don't want HER to so I corrected her and we both kinda snapped at each other. Whatever.

Went to TM for Mac Breakfast where I met the 2 loves of my life (I'm beginning to see some sort of pattern here) and Jon See joined us too, interrogated him and teased him a great deal. He's really sweet to his brother and I thought that was really nice, I have always wanted a lil one at home too, maybe that's why I'm so fatherly.

Psychology test was all right, really, many thanks to the notes. I didn't have time to complete 1.5 questions because of the time constraint but I think generally, I did alright for the rest of the paper. Let's just hope I can pass.

Today, I finally witnessed the blowup that I kinda anticipated, all I have to say is, never ever bear grudges and keep things to yourself. Always talk things out, no matter what you hear, what you think, be fair to yourself and the parties involved. Talk things out, especially when they're your close friends.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 10:43 PM

{xoxo}

3.09.2005

I asked 2 guys for their numbers today. One was for a dare and the other was (really) for a friend (seriously!) I even asked one of them out for drinks with that friend. Was quite weird-ed out by my boldness today, I would never have asked a guy for his number. Hoho.

Had a talk by CheeK, the director of Chicken Rice War and VP of MTV Asia, was interesting and an insightful talk. Pretty surprised by his modestness, and how he dresses for work. He made MTV Asia sound like a really delightful place to work in. Did not stay for the screening of Chicken Rice War though, left to catch American Idol.

Can I say how good Mario is?

Completed the story for Photog and emailed it to James, hope all goes well. There's psycho test tomorrow and I must say this is probably my worst subject in TP so far, I've never been so ill prepared for something.

Am just aiming for a Pass, please bless me.

On a sidenote, these past few days, I've been thinking about how life seems to be really unfair to me, especially so when I look at the friends around me. I hate to complain and whine about life being unfair but it really seems like that, anyhow, if there's one thing I learnt from the talk today, it is to fight and strive for what you want and believe in. No point counting on others or pushing it all to fate, if you want it bad enough, you just have to fight for it then.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 11:38 PM

{xoxo}

PerComm Presentation is finally over!

It was probably a blessing that we were the first to go because we kinda pushed some boundaries with our presentation, and being the first to go also meant that we were the first to relax! I think a lack of practice and first time jitters got to most of our group, because almost everyone sounded really nervous and the final presentation was somewhat different from what we had planned.

Either how, quite a few people came up to me to congratulate me and that really made my day! I know it wasn't easy presenting my slides so I'm glad it all paid off. The late nights, the fussing over details, the rushing, the laughter, the bitching, I really had lots of fun with this group. It was definitely the best group I've worked with in CMM so far, everyone was supportive and helpful!

Looking forward to a day of fun with them tomorrow at Crystal's place, more mahjong, karaoke and laughter with those hilarious people.

It's funny how I wanted to tell you about how my presentation went, but I hesitated to click on "Send" because I could imagine what you were gonna say anyway. And, I didn't think you would wanna know so I didn't bother.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:32 AM

{xoxo}

3.07.2005

Tonight's entry will be short. And sweet.

I'm very busy with the Powerpoint slideshow for tomorrow's PerComm presentation, doing lots of last minute touching up now. Trying my best to finetune everything, and hopefully, we'll ace tomorrow's presentation.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 10:56 PM

{xoxo}

By the way, dear readers, Jeanne plucked my brows today. My virgin brows.

I felt violated and raped.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:59 AM

{xoxo}

3.06.2005

Crystal's house is really spacious and her maid makes yummy chicken wings. Had first hand experience of the Pher's hospitality this afternoon when PerComm group made our way down to her place for a meeting.

Before that, we had lunch at Delifrance and a MAJOR bitching session took place. It was definitely one of the most satisfying and bitching session I've had in 2005, so far. Was pleasantly surprised at some of the stories I heard and further confirmed my worst suspicions about a few people.

Bought some snacks over to Crystal's place and of course, I realised after that that it was redundant cause her mom took care of everything already.

After webcamming, karaoke-ing and an exciting mahjong session (which i greatly enjoy), I declare I am.... not happy.

(Yes readers, that's all for tonight.)

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 11:56 PM

{xoxo}

Tonight was Chat-With-Old-Friends Night, and by old friends, I am referring to those I was once really pally with, but have failed to talk to lately.

Read a friend's blog recently about friendships and how they do not last, here's an excerpt:
Some will not last permanently, so accept that harsh fact of life and be grateful of whatever you once had. Translating what Chinese poet Xu Zhimo said in a poem, “We are ships meeting each other in the ocean and darkness; but you have your direction and I have my own; It is okay if you remember, but it is best you forget; this moment's light and communion we once shared”.

Chatting with the old friends got me thinking, I shall not disclose names here but let's just say there were 3 of them.

1)A pretty one that I will always love, was nice chatting with her again, though our plans to meet up lately have been postponed and cancelled repeatedly, I know we share something way stronger than that. Physical absence is nothing but another obstacle for us, different schools, different interests, different heights and I could go on forever. Point is, she's the type of friend that I can not talk to for months but once we chat again, it's as though we never were apart, points are easily made, feelings are easily expressed, we completely understand each other and words just flow out of our mouths. Very sweet. The sort I can imagine inviting to my wedding as the wedding planner or something.

2)An old friend that I briefly met today, which I immediately walked away in the opposite direction. Ever met an old friend on the streets only to turn away and avoid them? He's probably one of them. Not that we had bad blood or anything, but there's just this weird barrier between us now, pretty awkward to talk to and just really distant. Funny how things are now cause about 2 years back, we were inseperable, well almost. The sort I can imagine meeting on the streets someday and go "Hey I got hitched 2 years ago, this is my son."

3)The friend I knew for the shortest period of time amongst the 3 but has given me the most thoughts. Recollections of the first time we met, things we said, promises made and activities done together are ever there. Yet, after tonight, it confirmed my worst fears/biggest joy, that things really were heading the same way as she did. Ever lost something and got really upset but yet when you saw a new one again, you realised that you didn't feel the same for it anymore and walked away without getting it? Pretty much how I feel now, sure i still think about it and it probably still bothers me a teeny weeny bit but now it's more of a pity. It's not sadness I feel, but the feeling of Damn-it-could-have-been-better, a real pity that it became like that but it's alright, it doesn't sadden me anymore. Time to move on, just like you had said. The sort I can imagine.... ok wait, I can't.

One of the conversations went like that,
Me: Care to join me at Zouk on my birthday?
Friend: Nah, it's a school night, anyway you're turning 18! Time really flies.
Me: Yup soon it's 21 then 25 then 30 and before you know it, you're in the coffin.
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Hopefully by then, you would have love, cars, condos, credit cards, career and everything else they use to judge one's life by.
Friend: And feel empty at the end of the day? I would rather find a purpose in life.

So, there you go, my friends, which sorta friend do you make?

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 12:01 AM

{xoxo}

3.05.2005

Haven't updated in awhile, PerCom group project is finally history. Up next, Presentation! Got to redo our slides and rehearse rehearse rehearse. Don't want to end up looking like shit beside certain groups.

Finally bought the Before Sunrise/Sunset Special Edition DVD today, saw it at Gramophone and immediately grabbed it. Also saw the perfect bag at ProjectShopBloodBros, it's the right size and look! Am gonna buy it tomorrow or something, can't let such a good thing slip away!

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 9:01 PM

{xoxo}

3.02.2005

How come nobody informed me about Jamie Yeo & Grace Chua coming to school for a talk on Radio?! Was reading a few blogs when I found out, damn it!

Today's Crystal's birthday- Happy 18th Sweetie! You looked so pretty today, loved how you look today, wish you would bother to dress up more often, splendid stuff!

Suddenly recalled the article in Straits Times about the various polytechnics and how TP students are known to be good dressers.

Anyway, we surprised Crystal with her makeover and she used the vouchers we got her to buy a few cosmetics, she looked great after the makeover. Once again, reinstated my faith in makeup (some people look like shit with it) and it's really amazing what kinda wonders makeup's capable of.

Lunched at Fish&Co where we announced that Crystal is officially a Plastic! 3 old Plastics treated her to lunch and then we went over to PS to buy tickets for a movie. Pity there wasn't a show that fitted our schedule so we headed to the arcade to play BishiBashiChamp whereby Jeanne was the undisputed champion.

I went home after the arcade session because I just wanted to be alone after hearing some stuff Moo said and receiving an SMS from an auntie.

I'm not angry with anyone, just quite sick and tired of everything. Irritated with the kinda thoughts I have because they bug me constantly, they're always there, at the back of my head, causing the immense unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life and all.

Maybe they're right, I have expectations far too high, but that is because I am aware of what I can achieve, I don't see why I should settle for less. Was sharing childhood stories with them and how I can emphatise with those who commit suicide because of bad results. I totally understand how they feel, I'm an elitist, Plastics aren't. Maybe that's why they fail to see things my way, they don't understand my outlook on life, and end up criticising me.

I'm an unhappy boy.

signing off, da hunk, Jonathan at 7:38 PM

{xoxo}